Butterfly Man Goes Shopping

The door opened with a creepy creek of a sound. It was as if it was straight out of a Hitchcock novel, only difference being I never knew the ambience in Hitchcock novels would stink so much. Ward 55 it read. "Ah Mr Fowler I was expecting you", the man had tiny glasses but they were as thick as the glacier that sank the Titanic. "Mature Larva hey....thats an original even by Cartalunia's standards. So what will you go for? We have the purple regular, the large orange and cyan stripes. Oh what the hell just choose from our array."

The wardrobe was great. Ralph Lauren would have bowed with reverence. The tunics were such great fabric. Just what a superhero needs when flying on a mission to save the world from evil. Lose near the groin, tight near the forearms so the chicks can ogle at your awesome bisceps. Ok, I didn't have awesome bisceps at that point of time. Infact I was obese. But, I was a superhero so the muscles were part of the package. It wasn't a matter of worry. "That one. The green background with the rainbow stripes, please."

"Fine here you go. That'll be 2.99."
"What!!!! Do I have to pay for the suit? After all that Im gonna be doing for the welfare of our Terra Ferma." I had never addressed Planet Earth with that name before. Infact I didnt know it could be addressed that way. It had to be my superpowers sinking in. I handed over the 2.99 with reluctance.

I was about to leave when it suddenly struck me. "Hey how the fuck am I to fight these baddies. Strangle them with a daffodil noose or something."

"Oh..yes yes.. I forgot.....Here is your weapon." And he tossed a tiny gun. It felt like a plastic gun."

"Hey funny Hitchcock guy...what is this weenie?"

"It's a plastic gun".
I lost my patience...."I know that you son of a bitch...what the fuck does it do?"

"Ooh Mr Fowler. It fires fresh nectar, only with added sugar". He said it with a wry smile and added a wink in the end.

"What the fuck!!! Am I to terrorize villains witha nectar gun and hope they diea slow painful death suffering from Diabetes".

"You learn quickly Mr Fowler. That is precisely what you will be doing."

I was frustrated, "Fine just give me the gun, Ill fill my own liquid in it. And Ill make sure its deadlier." I stood up to leave.

"Just a minute Mr Fowler. Your training begins tomorrow morning at 4.30 Am sharp".

I was a superhero now and noone dictates terms to me, so I said "Whatever".

"And 1 more thing Mr Fowler, could you please control your expletives....afterall you area role model to children and the world alike."

I found myself with the same reply "Whatever".