Frustration Unleashed
People often accuse me of thinking negative and being a pessimistic. Well could anyone tell me what reason I have to be otherwise with whatever has happened in my life. I have never been allowed to pursue what I'm interested in, not even come close to it. If it were my parents stopping from doing so, it would have been fine because then i would have run away and done it in anycase. But, the biggest fuck up is that life itself has never presented an oppurtunity.
Life has got me landing up always in the wrong places at the wrong time. I came out of college only to land up in a shit hole called a Software Company. Thats not it, theres more. I will remain in this shit hole for another year atleast, and I can fuckin do nothing about it. Yes you heard me right I just can do nothing. I just spoke to someone right now. The realisation was a thunderbolt. Two fuckin years of my life wasted and flushed down the drain, and what do I have to show for it. This blog and nothing more.
You know if I had choices and I behaved in a ceratin way this is what I would prefer.
1. If I were seeing images of dead people I'd rather have people tell me I'm schizophrenic than have people tell ghosts exist.
2.If I got a job as a stripper, I'd rather have people tell me that they come not for entertainment and just for artistic fulfilment than otherwise.
3. in short I'd rather have people tell me that I'm crazy and not seeing the world right than have them tell me this is how the world is.
I just reliased that whatever i have written till now is full of contradictions. Well that's because I've not seen the world without contradictions. I'd be greatful to anyone who could show me this less faulty world people keep promising me about. Whatever I've written till now does not come from pessimism. At this point of time all that I have is hope and optimism without which I just would not be able to write. GOD has not won as yet. He's had all the battles till now. The war will be mine. However cliche that may sound it is true. I will win. Lets see who the fuck stops me.
Ill die a pauper but not quit trying. Thats me. So FUCK YOU LIFE!!!! I can do without you. What does it take a 5 rupee bottle of cyanide. What can you do to me then??
Life has got me landing up always in the wrong places at the wrong time. I came out of college only to land up in a shit hole called a Software Company. Thats not it, theres more. I will remain in this shit hole for another year atleast, and I can fuckin do nothing about it. Yes you heard me right I just can do nothing. I just spoke to someone right now. The realisation was a thunderbolt. Two fuckin years of my life wasted and flushed down the drain, and what do I have to show for it. This blog and nothing more.
You know if I had choices and I behaved in a ceratin way this is what I would prefer.
1. If I were seeing images of dead people I'd rather have people tell me I'm schizophrenic than have people tell ghosts exist.
2.If I got a job as a stripper, I'd rather have people tell me that they come not for entertainment and just for artistic fulfilment than otherwise.
3. in short I'd rather have people tell me that I'm crazy and not seeing the world right than have them tell me this is how the world is.
I just reliased that whatever i have written till now is full of contradictions. Well that's because I've not seen the world without contradictions. I'd be greatful to anyone who could show me this less faulty world people keep promising me about. Whatever I've written till now does not come from pessimism. At this point of time all that I have is hope and optimism without which I just would not be able to write. GOD has not won as yet. He's had all the battles till now. The war will be mine. However cliche that may sound it is true. I will win. Lets see who the fuck stops me.
Ill die a pauper but not quit trying. Thats me. So FUCK YOU LIFE!!!! I can do without you. What does it take a 5 rupee bottle of cyanide. What can you do to me then??
posted by Psychohistorian at 7:44 AM
1 Comments:
Hey Vinay,
This post sounds more like one of those letters you write just b4 hanging yourself from your cealing fan. God! what has come over you buddy. I just hope this is not the way you are actually feeling.
I know the shithole you were in - I was there too remember. But dude - Ask not what you can do in the Shithole, ask how you are gonna get out of there. And - No the Entire world isn't shitty - but it's up to you to stop just holding ur nose complaining and waddle out of the shit.
So have fun, stay positive, enjoy life and do yourself a favour - GET LAID. You'll feel a whole lot better!
regards,
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