When Will I be Released

Forget the meaning of life. All I want is life(or death for that matter). My only question is what will give me a release. reading doesnt nor does writing. I used to like believing that it does because it was fashionable to think so then. Maybe I think otherwise because it isnt fashionable right now. Im not sure about anything. All Im sure of is that the moment I write some of the crap that I dole out and take I feel like emptyin my lungs sticking up a rod in there and filling my windpipe with enough liquid to choke me so hard that when I scream, my body is blown into so many parts that nothing is seen to the naked eye.

Music was thought to be a saviour. But I listen to music that I like which is so positive and full of energy that all I can feel is shitty just because Im devoid of all that energy and watever I feed comes from an artificial source which like all shall be exhausted on day and Ill just burn out like a GE bulb supposedly the longest lasting bulb on the planet. Stupid people think they can market a bulb when the sun is eventually gonna burn out.

What is the truth is that there is no substitute to happiness. And what is the truth is that that there are some people in the world who will always be happy and there are some that who will always remain sad. Ofcourse by always I disoucnt the time amongst that stupid guy/gal who told sat with you everyday dreaming your dreams and telling you that lfe is not an abyss and there is a bottom in the it. You will eventually hit hard surface.

But it never happened.....I still cant feel the floor....Im gonna be sucked more...I think Im free falling.....but the term free has lost its essence....Im jst falling like being bound to the earth.