Love,Mush and all that crap

I clearly remember my first and last crush. There is no reason why I would forget it. It didnt happen long ago nor am I not in touch with her anymore. Infact she is one of my best friends. But what is most important is that I still remember my absolutely inane behaviour infront of her. This is what has led me to the important conclusion that men are probably at their worst when in love. If their being horrible in the normal sense wasnt enough just imagine what love could reduce them to. Petty excuses, behaving extra nice to people when you could very well give them a kick in the ass, changing your likes and dislikes (I was fortunate to have done this,coz her tastes were almost identical....but if I had to I would probably have done it in anycase), and worst of all agreeing to everything he/she says. Makes me sick now.
Yeah..yeah u may call it sour grapes just because she turned me down. But believe me I seriously am a transformed being for the past three years. I cant bear to see people holding hands (I said people because lately I even see men holding hands with each other....and it obviously is not a pretty sight). My office bus takes me to office and gets me back home everyday. The worst thing about this trip is this terrible couple who are so in love God it makes me wanna vomit. They wait for each other...take a bus one and a half hours later if one of them misses the bus. It is something which makes your bowels grind. If only I could go and give them a piece of my mind and tell them that marriage is only gonna make it worse. The worst thing about all this is that even I used to these sort of things at one point of time and it makes me realise what a nincompoop I must have looked like. Not a good realisation I must say.
Now what Im gonna say next will make you feel that Im a totally sick person but I gotta say it. Nowadays I feel really unhappy if any of my friends claim to be in a relationship or claim to be in love. It feels like Im attending a funeral of a cancer patient who is in his final stages.
People fall in love because of different reasons...but I think all men do just because of one reason and thats because they are inherently stupid and think this is the only way they are gonna look cool. What they have gotta understand is the terrible virtual reality they are living in is what is described in sacred texts as Maya. When love stories ended in the lovers dying, the writers were doing them a favour. It is for common good that love must not exist simply because it kills. Lets leave it at that. It kills and I wanna live for the sake of my insanity and for the sake of what I have not achieved till now and I want to and may never will. I wanna live for me coz they say it hurts when you die, hurts worse than when you are in love. So when Cupid decides to sneak behind and stick that arrow up my bottom, I just hope my underwear can withstand that blow.