Friday, January 13, 2006

Bus Ride

The bus to Hill Road finally arrived. She lived there, and had been waiting in the bus-stop next to the sewage drain for the last hour. "Why is the fuckin frequency of the bus so less?", she said to herself. She had to say it in her mind for she considered it taboo to use curses aloud. She had a name, which heroines in Bollywood would love to have in movies for themselves. But for the sake of her mannerisms Ms Geek would be the most appropriate name to use in this particular story.

Ms Geek hated her job and just wanted to get out of it everyday. Today she was particularly pissed at the way her boss had asked her to stay for an extra hour to complete some cosmetic changes to the module he was working on. "Doesnt the bastard realise that girls cannot stay late outside the house for long. Would he fuckin like it if his wife was out till 8.30 pm renaming all SUBMIT buttons in the interface to ACCEPT." There were numerous rhetorics in her mind, but for the moment she had concentrate on climbing into the bus. It was already crowded but she had this God sent gift of finding a seat under adverse conditions and against all odds. As she waded through the crowd, feeling the stench of moist armpits she secretly sniggered to herself. What was the joke one might think. Well actually this was the high point everyday, the time when she just entered the bus. She imagined herself to be part of the microprocessor data bus carrying vital information through the multitude and this gave Ms Geek immense pleasure.

Ms Geek's eyes first turned to the Ladies Seats right at the front and she liked what she saw. There was a person of the opposite sex on the seat. This was to be her moment of glory. She would vent her day's frustration on the unsuspecting yet irresponsible soul. "Please stand up mister, yeh ladies seat hai....this is a ladies seat can you not see." The man looked educated as he was well dressed and so she took the liberty of using English, although many a time this notion of hers was thwarted by well dressed people who seemed to not know the English alphabet. She had been particularly irritated on such occasions, as she thought it to be imperative to know the Queen's Language if you were well dressed. Well she was deprived of that irritation this time. There was a moment of surprise in the man's face and a moment of silence. He then got up without any remonstration.

Ms Geek took her seat and took the Kafka out of her bag. There was a gleam in the man's eyes when he saw the book in her hands. It was like in the movies, he thought...thunder has finally struck. Now this guy is called Mr Loser and his idea of virtual romance is with a woman who shares his reading habbits.

"So your reading The Metamorphosis I see."

"Yeah so? Do you have a problem or are you just trying to hit on me?"

"She's blunt too", he thought to himself. "Just what I need in a woman. Now if only I could continue this converasation"

He comes up with a reply, amidst all the peple in the bus shoving to come grab a seat "Well don't you sometimes think Kafka is just a huge scam, and that he just wrote inanely to tease the masses into thinking that he really meant something. I've always wanted to discuss this with someone but could never do so with someone I knew, so I thought it better to broach the topic with a stranger."

It was the first time she actually looked at his face properly. He was quite hideous...unshaven, short, skinny and hair unkept. If he did shave and combed his hair, he would look better but he didnt. Well atleast he knew Franz and his writing. "Well if Kafka were writing this as a scam, my respect for him increases two-fold."

"Ah...so madam you are a supporter of false thought and a robbery of intellect."

She had half a mind to castrate him and burn him alive for intiating stupid and meaningless conversation, but the lack of care for his own stupidity kind of her turned her on.

"You know people like you have completely double standards. I mean how can you fuckin complain about falsehood when you read literature. You idiots just behave preachy and wish for superior intellectual literature just so you can bitch about it later. Nincompoops like you think writing needs to be done for a purpose. A great writer once wrote about people like you. 'When idiots tread your path...tell them to fuck off'. Well I made that up, but you do get the drift don't you."

Mr Loser was not called so for no reason, "So what else do you read?"

"Well lets see...Ive read the latest edition of playgril and I think your brain bears a strong resemblance to the cover boy's shaft. Wait actually there is a difference....it did have a mind of its own."

Hill Road arrived and Mr Loser still didnt sit on any of the seats empty behind. He wanted to make a last dicth effort and try and salvage some lost pride. But, Ms Geek just wouldnt give in. She didnt like the fact that she had to get off now, especially since she found such a nice vent for her frustration. She could have continued hammering him all her life as a profession. It was a most refreshing experience. She now wanted to do it again

"You know I have to get off now... People who take the 6.30 pm 284 don't usually get very involved in a conversation with me. I guess you travel by this one so you wouldnt know"

Mr Losers eyes lit up. He would start taking the 6.30 284 from now on and she would verbally abuse him everyday from now on. They were both satisfied with the turn of events at the end of the day.